A bishop then must be…one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); (I Timothy 3:2, 4, 5 NKJV)

You can tell how a man will handle the church of Jesus Christ by how he handles his own home. I often hear it said, that pastors’ kids are usually the opposite of what their fathers represent, that is only because their fathers do a very bad job of parenting. It is also said that the pastor is often too busy doing the “work of The Lord” and as a result left with no time to care for his family. Well my dears, the bible insists without apology to differ! Jesus is of this persuasion; “that the leader who is for whatever reason unable to parent his children properly, keeping all of them in line, is not fit to lead.” Such a leader should rather be busy putting his house in order first, surrendering(or if unwilling, relieved of) his leadership position in the mean time.

One of the reason why almost anything goes in the church today is because almost anything goes in the families of the church leaders. A man will give what he has and nothing more. A man cannot act better than he knows to do. A man is inclined to follow the familiar path, and his heart bends over for the things that has mastered him. A weak father is a weak leader. A father who makes no effort to set a good example for his children is a Pharisee when in leadership, he will make no effort to show the people by example how it’s done. He shouts orders from afar, way off from the battlefield.

There are credentials that every intending leader must posses. These are not to be taken for granted. Seeing that family is God’s perfect idea of a leadership academy for leaders, an intending leader must be in-charge and on top of things in his family. He must have everything under control especially his children. He must have them in complete obedience. Parents are not advisers, neither are they friends, they are goldsmiths, their concern is to apply sufficient heat so to get the dross out of the impure gold and form the gold into items of great value. Such are leaders too. An excellent parent makes an excellent leader.

A true leader must command the respect of his children, not primarily by orders but by being a true picture of the expectations he demands from them. He must show them, and then command them. Yes, it is not enough to be what you want your children to be, you must command them to follow you. God made Adam and Eve in His image and gave them instructions too. It is by discipline you bend the rebellious heart of a child to wisdom. If you think it’s old fashioned to discipline children, if you think children should have their way if they insist, even though it may not be in their best interest, or if you are ok to let your wife take turns with you at being the man of the house, then my dear friend, you don’t have the stuff leaders are made of. Please sit on the pew. Sit and be led. It’s safer for everybody that way. Otherwise, man up!


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